People change. So plan on it.

We marry people because we like who they are. But people change. So plan on it. Don't marry someone because of who they are, or who you want them to become. Marry them because of who they are determined to become. And then spend a lifetime joining them in their becoming, as they join you in yours.

The 9 Most Overlooked Threats to a Marriage.

Verdura

Strong hand

Will I be the strong hand 

keeping you safe?

or will I break you 

in half

Once you learn that, you'll never be the same again.

Mind reset

"It's a great thing when you realize you still have the ability to surprise yourself. 

Makes you wonder what else you can do that you've forgotten about."

The Ultimate Dating Advice Lesson

"Dissatisfied single people should actually consider themselves in a neutral, fairly hopeful position, compared to what their situation could be. A single person who would like to find a great relationship is one step away from it, with their to-do list reading, "1) Find a great relationship." People in unhappy relationships, on the other hand, are threeleaps away, with a to-do list of "1) Go through a soul-crushing break-up. 2) Emotionally recover. 3) Find a great relationship." Not as bad when you look at it that way, right?"

How to Pick Your Life Partner


"...this is the ultimate dating advice lesson — man, woman, gay, straight, trans, furry, whatever — the only real dating advice is self improvement. Everything else is a distraction, a futile battle in the grey area, a prolonged ego trip. Because, yes, with the right tools and performance, you may be able to con somebody into sleeping with you, dating you, even marrying you. But you will have won the battle by sacrificing the war, the war of long-term happiness."

The Law of Fuck Yes or No

Like

Some guys like tits
Some guys like ass
This guy likes a girl who reads
I like a girl who writes :)

The trouble with perspective.

***

"The power of accurate observation is often called cynicism, by those who don't have it."

— Sir George Bernard Shaw

The Invitation

It doesn't interest me what you do for a living
It doesn't interest me how old you are
for love
for your dreams
for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon...
I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow
if you have been opened by life's betrayals
or have become shrivelled and closed
from fear of further pain.

I want to know if you can sit with pain
mine or your own
without moving to hide it
or fade it
or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy
mine or your own
if you can dance with wildness
and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your
fingers and toes
without cautioning us to
be careful
be realistic
to remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me
is true.
I want to know if you can
disappoint another
to be true to yourself.
If you can bear the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless
and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see Beauty
even when it is not pretty
every day.
And if you can source your own life
from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure
yours and mine
and still stand on the edge of the lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon,
"Yes."

It doesn't interest me
to know where you live or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up
after a night of grief and despair
weary and bruised to the bone
and do what needs to be done
to feed the children.

It doesn't interest me who you know
or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand
in the center of the fire
with me
and not shrink back.

It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom
you have studied.
I want to know what sustains you
from the inside
when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone
with yourself
and if you truly like the company you keep
in the empty moments

— Oriah Mountain Dreamer

What you want

RYAN.- You don't remember me, do you? 

JENNIFER.- Should I? 

RYAN.- Nah... we were on a plane together once. 

JENNIFER.- Haha! OMG... Ryan? Are you "counting Ryan"? Of course I remember you! Once a month I remember you. I must have told that "period on a plane" like a million times 

RYAN.- Not me. 

JENNIFER.- Haha... You wanna go grab a coffee or something? 

RYAN.- What about your boyfriend? "the king" 

JENNIFER.- I don't have a boyfriend. I hate commitments. I figure, why limit yourself when there's a world of posibilities out there? 

RYAN.- Maybe all those possibilities distract you from what you want... That's why I don't watch cable. 

JENNIFER.- What? 

RYAN.- There's too many choices!

Some things are best left unsaid.

RED.- [narrating] I have no idea to this day what those two Italian ladies were singing about. Truth is, I don't want to know. Some things are best left unsaid. I'd like to think they were singing about something so beautiful, it can't be expressed in words, and makes your heart ache because of it. I tell you, those voices soared higher and farther than anybody in a gray place dares to dream. It was like some beautiful bird flapped into our drab little cage and made those walls dissolve away, and for the briefest of moments, every last man in Shawshank felt free.

"Abre las cortinas"

"Deja que entre un poco de luz"

Y de repente, se hizo de día.

It's been a while

Una conversa, un facebook app, y unos links compartidos removieron varias cosas durante esta semana. Tuve oportunidad de verme en perspectiva releyendo. Recordando cada cosa detrás me doy cuenta que ha pasado ya un buen tiempo desde aquel domingo en el que decidí abrir este espacio. Por esos días tenía apenas fresco el recuerdo de la última vez que pisé las lomas. Acababa de ver a Corgan. "Never let me down" sonaba una y otra vez en mi iPod, y llevaba unos pocos domingos (si apenas alguno) saliendo a correr a la cancha frente a la panadería. No me había reencontrado aún con aquel amigo becepino, ni tenía idea de lo que me esperaban esos veranos. Todavía conversaba por messenger. No recordaba los veranos primaverales. No había probado el sushi por primera vez. No había regresado a Cuzco ni sabía nada de los viajes que me esperarían. Tantas cosas han pasado desde ese domingo. Pero todas han sido para bien. Ahora tienen (y puedo darles) sentido.

Viéndome en perspectiva ahora entiendo mejor también. Empezando por el color de este espacio, entiendo el duelo. El nombre y la figura del laberinto que más adelante comprendería en un starbucks, viendo un logo en medio de una conversa barcelonesca. Entiendo la temática recurrente. Las vicisitudes también. No obstante, en medio del hotchpotch lo que más veo es la procesión contrastando con el carnaval. Veo la dualidad.

Es hora de homogeneizar un poco las cosas.

Y es hora de hacerlo de afuera hacia adentro.

No cambié

Solo aprendí, y aprender no es cambiar, es crecer.

Algunas mujeres que conozco II

dicen buscar a Mr. Right,
pero en la práctica se contentan con Mr. Right Now.